Weekly Writing Assignment: Untitled by Ted (QuixoticJedi)
Yo man, I’m totally down and out. Nothing is going right, and everybody keeps calling me a fag. Example: the chick I was having phone sex with last night was completely fershnickered and kept asking me if I was some kind of fagal. Even after I clearly explained to the bitch that all I wanted was to do some brodies on her nunga nungas with my neckbeard, she got all pissed and was like “fine, you little pain in the ass, why don’t you go do some fucking donuts with your dorky friend – you two uber queers are perfect for each other!” I swear to god – soft eyes here – it was hella worse than the time that chick rickrolled me while we were camming it. I mean look, just ‘cause I took the dirty dub from my homie for writing ‘hommie’ on Pookie’s schlong while he was passed out doesn’t mean I didn’t realize the bill was fake OR that I have a wide stance. I mean, c’MON – I’m the decider of my faghood, not him.
I just want to get laid. Is that so much to ask??
